A Little Bit of Hope

After a blogging sabbatical, I am ready to continue to put thoughts into words. The very first thoughts I need to post are of thanksgiving to God for a beautiful, healthy third child born in early March. She arrived large, late, and bathed in prayer by the ladies in my Bible Study who were meeting as I labored. My heart (and hands!) is full.

In addition to welcoming our little one we have had the joy of watching friends and family welcome new children into their homes in the 2 months surrounding her birth. We are so grateful to God for the lives of Faith, Justine, Hope, Katie, Emmet, Benjamin, Coulter, Cody, Austin, & Abraham and for the presence of these children in their families.

A Little Heavy

I am concerned that this topic of grief is a bit heavy, but given the past few months, I just need to get this out somewhere.

Tears are falling and I haven't even started... Friends from Pennsylvania had a baby in July - stillborn. Their first. Healthy 36 hours prior. I pray frequently for our friends and I cry every time I do.

Our sermon on Sunday ("Good Grief") was about grief from the passage with the well known verse, "Jesus wept." (John 11:35). Dominie began by stating that grief is an emotional response to loss. In conclusion, Christians have hope even in our grief. He contrasted performing a funeral for a Christian family versus a family who does not believe in Jesus Christ, noting despair as the common feeling of unbelieving families.

A family friend from high school lost her husband to Cystic Fibrosis in June. My sister and her husband separated in August. My grandpa's Alzheimer's disease is progressed to the point of difficulty with daily routine as per family report last week. My mom is having a biopsy Wednesday.

I feel the loss, the sadness around me. As I was giving Two her bottle last night I was praying and just overcome with sadness for our friends who should know the joy and delight a child brings into the home. All their hopes and dreams for this little boy were shattered. They never got to know their son. They grieve for their loss and I grieve their loss because they don't fully know everything they are missing.

Dominie is right. If it weren't for my faith in Jesus Christ, the hope of resurrection and the promise of eternally dwelling in the House of the Lord, I would be filled with despair. But it's still so sad! So I get to cry and hug my babies a little tighter. But not too tight. Their lives and mine are entrusted into the care of my Heavenly Father. While I don't understand, I don't have to. I just have to trust.