Books, Books, Books

Over the past two months, I've been coming our library for applicable or interesting parenting books for parents of children 0-6. Here's a list of books, each with a synopsis and some opinions thrown in:

Could It Be Autism? by Nancy Wiseman, founder of First Signs
Written by a mother of a child diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, Could It Be Autism provides excellent developmental guidelines for parents of children 4 months (yes! 4 months!) and up as well as warning signs and "red flags" of Autism. Wiseman guides a parent through the "what do I do's" of concerns, evaluation, referrals, Early Intervention, second opinions, therapy, choosing professionals and advocating for your child in the school system. The information presented is factual and relevant. She strongly urges parents to be a cooperative but persistent advocate for their children regarding school-based services. While this perspective caused me some discomfort as a professional she rightly stressed how creating positive, cooperative relationships with school staff was the most effective way to get help for your child. This book is going immediately to my reference list.

Anne from "A Little Bit Crazy" referenced a book called Wonder Weeks in her blog. I have not yet read it (and apparently neither has Anne) but I have recommended it to several parents. It's on my "watch list" for the library. You can read Anne's blog and her review of this book on her blog, annesasylum.blogspot.com

Beyond Baby Talk: from sounds to sentences - A Parent's Complete Guide to Language Development by Kenn Apel Ph.D., Julie Masterson Ph.D
Written by Speech-Language Pathologists, this is ASHA's official language development publication for parents. The book does a great job of breaking down language development into stages by age (0-6 mo, 6-12 mo, 12-24 mo, etc.) and providing information for each area of language (comprehension, spoken expression, social use). I learned a few useful items to easily apply in my practice as a Speech-Language Pathologist and would recommend this book for parents of children who are under 12 months or for parents of children with language delays (versus a motor speech/articulation delay or disorder).

The Late Talker by Dr. Marilyn Agin, Lisa Geng, Malcolm Nicholl
Dr. Agin is a SLP-turned-pediatric physiatrist (rehabilitation doctor for children) and feels that Apraxia of Speech is under diagnosed or unrecognized by most pediatricians. While Agin does address other areas of speech and language development, her book is a focused bullet for parents seeking answers and treatment for children with severe speech delays or disorders. She gives a useful table of speech and language development milestones, how to cooperate and get results from the school system and how to go about getting insurance coverage for private speech therapy. I would reserve recommendation for only families with the most severely impaired children. I thought her descriptions, concerns and advice were realistic for children with Apraxia, though it might give other parents a scare. This book gave me a great professional "kick in the pants" to be aggressive in my therapy plans and a reminder of how parents rely on professionals for quality intervention, answers, help and support.

Positive Discipline for the First Three Years by Jane Nelson
The best and most applicable I've read lately. Nelson's big themes are "kind and firm" and a child's developing autonomy. She addresses all manor of "behavior issues" (biting, hitting, exploring the forbidden, running away, obedience) and developmental milestones (sleeping, eating, toileting). She holds that it takes just as much time an energy (or more) to yell, lecture, or discipline using a slap/spank/time-out as it does to firmly and gently re-direct, provide an appropriate substitute or ask simple questions to help a child solve a problem (such as sharing) on his/her own. She feels that young children understand actions better than words. Included is an excellent chapter on choosing childcare/daycare. Coverage of special needs is cursory. She also authored Positive Discipline A-Z and Positive Discipline for the Preschool Years. I am most anxiously looking to read these next!

Discipline Delimma

As our dear, sweet son is about to enter his fourth year (he's turning 3 next week!), I am re-evaluating our method of teaching and disciplining. I'm sure you are shocked to hear that we have to discipline our children, because, of course, they are perfect. But don't be shocked. Imperfect parents parenting imperfect kids. No wonder the Bible tells "children [to] obey their parents" and "parents do not exasperate your children." I've thought since becoming a parent that maybe there was a translation error there and it should read, "children do not exasperate your parents." Then as my kids got a little older, I am beginning to realize that if I nag, beg, punish, remind, ask, order and threaten my kids, I am first of all not getting consistent results and second not always teaching them how to monitor their own behavior and make good decisions on their own. The Bible must be right. "Parents do not exasperate your children." In trying to follow this wisdom, I am finding difficulty with two things:

1) the balance of power - putting my foot down as an adult and parent who really knows better anyway and his choices and then deciding whether to imposing consequences or allowing natural consequences to teach him - and...
2) how to hide my laughter when he does something really funny during a teaching time. I'm supposed to be calm, "flat affect" and not indicate a strong emotional response, right? Except for a little problem. "Mama! The naughty spot is broken. I need a new one." Yup, that's defiantly going to be a problem. My friend, Missy, told me a story about her 4 year old who decided she was only ready to say "sor-" when it was time to get out of time-out. I have no idea how she managed to keep a straight face.

I'm pretty sure little ones are cute and funny for a reason. Their little sweetness just begs love and forgiveness and makes it difficult to carry bitterness and anger. It's a good thing too. Thing Two pulled a "chubby bunny" with a pink bunny 'peep' today and ended up with pink drool all over... Snacks stay in the kitchen for a reason!!!