Prioritizing

NOTE: While I believe in celebrating Christmas right up through Epiphany (Jan. 6), please do not attribute my Christmas background to negligence, laziness or lack of effort. The site I use has been doing a major overhaul and has been 'unavailable' each time I've attempted an update. ~mgmt.

REAL POST:
About a year ago I attended a women's group gathering taught by a wife of "noble character" and of vast experience. She has been married three times (her first two husbands passed away at early ages). She states that each husband she's had is incredibly different, which has given me great pause and also confirmed my suspicion that there is not "one and only one" true love for each of us. Robin told us that she had been most unhappy in her marriage (I can't recall which one...) and decided to play things radically different. She started pretending to take an interest in her husband's interests. For her, this meant pulling out a lawn chair and reading in the garage while her husband tinkered. She was able to share common time and common space with him (I think this equals 'bonding' for a man). Though this was just one of the ideas she tried, this process of giving up her selfish desires and opening up to his interests, she transformed herself and her husband.

As the kids get a little older (i.e. not infants) I am realizing how important it is to share special moments with them and together with our family. More important is the time I spend with my husband - talking, sharing a meal or watching football (Go Steelers!). Here's a few of the things we do together: shovel snow, watch football, discuss his work, eat popcorn, play fantasy sports, clean up the kitchen, go to church. Everything is free (even the popcorn!). Many of the things are just part of life that we chose to share with each other. Our friends Missy and Chris seem to be really good at this. They go on dates without their kids. When we go camping, they sneak off for a walk with the other couples' permission. We had a play date and lunch at their house this week and Chris came home unexpectedly. They took several moments after lunch, in sight but away from kids to talk and reconnect.

Robin reminded us to love our husbands for who they are, to be their champion and their support, and to take our marriage vows seriously, however that looks for each of us. The mire of cleaning toilets, laundry, teaching toddlers, my part-time j-o-b, chasing toddlers, cooking etc. pulls at me and I feel like I have to be really good at all those other things. Not the kids, not the house, no the workout, no the job... the husband.